Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Campaigner Challenge #1


Rachel at Rach Writes has posted the first challenge of the campaigner challenge. The goal is to write a flash story of 200 words or less using the opening phrase of "the door swung open". I've decided to challenge myself extra hard and (a big surprise) my story came up at exactly 200 words.

The child
The door swung open, revealing a small silhouette standing on the doorstep. A small girl in a white dress stepped forward. Rain dripped from her chestnut braids.

“Are you okay?” Danielle asked. A flash of lightning illuminated the sky. There were no cars or any sign of how this small girl ended up here at this hour. “Are you lost?”

The girl walked straight past Danielle. Her bare feet left wet footprints behind her. “It’s coming,” the girl whispered in a barely audible voice.

“What?” Danielle followed the girl down the hall. A crack of thunder echoed around the corridor, making her jump. “Do you want me to get you some help?”

“It’s coming.” The girl stopped in front of a closed door. Her small hands, turning the knob with ease, pushed it open. “You can’t hide.”

Danielle flicked on the light and looked into her room. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The girl moved over to the mirror.

Danielle couldn’t take her eyes off the reflection. The rotted flesh hung from the white bone of the skull. Sunken sockets, with no eyes, stared back.

“I’m coming!” the girl whispered as the lights flicked off and the door swung shut.

29 comments:

Theresa Milstein said...

Aack! She should've never let her in! I wasn't expecting THAT! Good job!

Abby said...

YIKES! Okay, I don't think I'm going to bed tonight. SCARY! I totally love it. Great job.

Francesca Zappia said...

O.O Creepy! I feel like all the campaign posts I'm coming across are really creepy... and this one is definitely going to keep me up for a while....

Aldrea Alien said...

Zlick!
This reads like a prologue to one of those supernatural horrors I'm not into watching.

Kerri Cuev said...

OMG So creepy and AWESOME! You rocked this challange.

Angela Brown said...

I am now officially creeped out. No little girls in white dresses with chestnut braids will be allowed in my home.

This was a well written piece. Though it has a creep factor, I really like it.

Patricia T. said...

Creepy. Creepy. Thought she might be a ghost at first, but wasn't prepared for the ending. Well written!

Patricia T.

Alleged Author said...

Very surprising ending! Good job. :)

julie fedderson said...

Oh, beautifully creepy! Love the end. Great job on this challenge!

Elana Johnson said...

Oh no! I'm never opening the door in a rainstorm again. Never, ever.

Danyelle L. said...

Wow! Very, very awesomely creepy. Am going to have nightmares now. :p Well done!

Jen said...

Good job, Cheree! Very creepy!

Jennifer Groepl said...

I'm with Angela. I'll be thoroughly interrogating any small children who appear on my porch before letting them inside! Awesome story. :)

Madeleine said...

Oh excellent! I loved this. Great description and great twist at the end.

elizabethanne said...

May I scream now? Wow, what a story and, gulp, what an ending.

Jenn said...

Wow, creepy. I like how she tried to warn the protagonist but only added to the suspense factor by doing so.

Rachel McClellan said...

Awesome! Finally another creepy story! Glad I'm not alone.

Nadja Notariani said...

Too creepy! Ha! ~ Nadja

bridget said...

Creepy. I'd had better not hink about this one too much or I'll have nightmares. Well done. Mine is #72

J.R. Williams said...

Spooky! This plays out like a story in Supernatural. Nicely done. :)

1000th.monkey said...

...so creepy... I really liked the image of rain dripping from her chestnut braids.

by the way, you used 'small' 4 times ;)

Alica McKenna Johnson said...

Very creepy- I like it

AveryMarsh said...

Okay, I had chills. Very, very creepy. O_o But well done.

quidforquill said...

Wasn't expecting the reflection at the end. Well done! Thank you for sharing.

By the way, I'm in your horror group. Sorry it's taken me so long to drop by and say hi!

Margo Kelly said...

Creepy! :)

Jocelyn Rish said...

Kids at night are always creepy, especially in white dresses! Great details to set the mood and scare factor.

Doreen said...

I will be sleeping with the tv on tonight. That was scary good!!

Sabrina said...

I'm still shivering after reading this. Great job :)

Claire said...

Yikes! Missed this before - well scary.
I’m delighted to award you The Versatile Blogger Award: http://clairehennessy.blogspot.com/
Have a great day :)

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