Rachel at Rach Writes has posted the first challenge of the campaigner challenge. The goal is to write a flash story of 200 words or less using the opening phrase of "the door swung open". I've decided to challenge myself extra hard and (a big surprise) my story came up at exactly 200 words.
The child
The door swung open, revealing a small silhouette standing on the doorstep. A small girl in a white dress stepped forward. Rain dripped from her chestnut braids.
“Are you okay?” Danielle asked. A flash of lightning illuminated the sky. There were no cars or any sign of how this small girl ended up here at this hour. “Are you lost?”
The girl walked straight past Danielle. Her bare feet left wet footprints behind her. “It’s coming,” the girl whispered in a barely audible voice.
“What?” Danielle followed the girl down the hall. A crack of thunder echoed around the corridor, making her jump. “Do you want me to get you some help?”
“It’s coming.” The girl stopped in front of a closed door. Her small hands, turning the knob with ease, pushed it open. “You can’t hide.”
Danielle flicked on the light and looked into her room. Nothing out of the ordinary.
The girl moved over to the mirror.
Danielle couldn’t take her eyes off the reflection. The rotted flesh hung from the white bone of the skull. Sunken sockets, with no eyes, stared back.
“I’m coming!” the girl whispered as the lights flicked off and the door swung shut.
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28 comments:
Aack! She should've never let her in! I wasn't expecting THAT! Good job!
YIKES! Okay, I don't think I'm going to bed tonight. SCARY! I totally love it. Great job.
O.O Creepy! I feel like all the campaign posts I'm coming across are really creepy... and this one is definitely going to keep me up for a while....
Zlick!
This reads like a prologue to one of those supernatural horrors I'm not into watching.
OMG So creepy and AWESOME! You rocked this challange.
I am now officially creeped out. No little girls in white dresses with chestnut braids will be allowed in my home.
This was a well written piece. Though it has a creep factor, I really like it.
Creepy. Creepy. Thought she might be a ghost at first, but wasn't prepared for the ending. Well written!
Patricia T.
Very surprising ending! Good job. :)
Oh, beautifully creepy! Love the end. Great job on this challenge!
Oh no! I'm never opening the door in a rainstorm again. Never, ever.
Wow! Very, very awesomely creepy. Am going to have nightmares now. :p Well done!
Good job, Cheree! Very creepy!
Oh excellent! I loved this. Great description and great twist at the end.
May I scream now? Wow, what a story and, gulp, what an ending.
Wow, creepy. I like how she tried to warn the protagonist but only added to the suspense factor by doing so.
Awesome! Finally another creepy story! Glad I'm not alone.
Too creepy! Ha! ~ Nadja
Creepy. I'd had better not hink about this one too much or I'll have nightmares. Well done. Mine is #72
Spooky! This plays out like a story in Supernatural. Nicely done. :)
...so creepy... I really liked the image of rain dripping from her chestnut braids.
by the way, you used 'small' 4 times ;)
Very creepy- I like it
Okay, I had chills. Very, very creepy. O_o But well done.
Wasn't expecting the reflection at the end. Well done! Thank you for sharing.
By the way, I'm in your horror group. Sorry it's taken me so long to drop by and say hi!
Creepy! :)
Kids at night are always creepy, especially in white dresses! Great details to set the mood and scare factor.
I will be sleeping with the tv on tonight. That was scary good!!
I'm still shivering after reading this. Great job :)
Yikes! Missed this before - well scary.
I’m delighted to award you The Versatile Blogger Award: http://clairehennessy.blogspot.com/
Have a great day :)
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